And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
