I feel like I'm in dance class right now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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