Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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