Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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