I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
