I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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