Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
