Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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