Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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