I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
