i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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