i think my tv is drunk
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
