Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize