Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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