Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
