She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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