Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its liver damage thursday
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
