i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
