she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
