Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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