Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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