So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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