I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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