Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
