I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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