My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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