Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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