Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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