remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
