I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize