I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize