who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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