WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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