Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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