So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
50% drunk capacity currently
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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