The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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