Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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