I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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