I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
