hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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