what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
