can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Farmville is her only friend.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
