Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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