I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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