I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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