So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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