her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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