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Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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