I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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