I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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