No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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