..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
