It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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