I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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