It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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