Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
