so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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