If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
