nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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