I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
