As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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