Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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