is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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