Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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